When I was around 20 years old, I had hopes that I would complete college, marry my sweetheart, and that we would have 3 kids before we turned 30. It was a nice dream, but instead I went to graduate school, we broke up, and I continued on to a doctoral program after completing my Master’s degree in Music Performance. Serious relationships took a backseat.
Just before turning 30 years of age, I moved to the Washington, DC, area to check out the performance opportunities. I wasn’t concerned with finding ‘the right man’ and starting a family, instead I was working on building a successful freelance career which was really picking up nicely when I first experienced an attack of optic neuritis. Until I was diagnosed with MS five years later, things were moving along smoothly.
Shortly before the MS diagnosis, I was introduced to ‘the guy.’ Of course I didn’t know that Rob would become ‘the guy’ until I had known him for a little while. Rob was there when the MS diagnosis became official; he was there for lots of tears and hugs; and he was there when I woke up in the middle of the night screaming and crying in pain from early RA symptoms.
I was 38 when I was finally diagnosed with RA and one of the first things we (my doctor and I) did was begin a medication for which pregnancy was strongly warned against (ie., methotrexate). This was a little late in life to consider starting a family, but it wasn’t TOO late. Women are having children even in their 40s nowadays.
Sometime after my RA symptoms were brought under control, I did run a small experiment to see whether or not I might consider going off treatment to prepare for a potential pregnancy. I stopped taking my methotrexate for a short period of time. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of 2-3 weeks before symptoms began to return. Knowing how AWFUL the pre-diagnosis, no-treatment time period was for me, I started back on methotrexate immediately.
Read this post in its entirety:
If Not For RA, Would I Still Be Childless?
Thank you so much for posting this. I went to uni very late at 26. I wasn't worried about meeting "tge one" or having children. I met someone special at diagnosis when I was 31. He left me, couldn't cope with the depression and mood swings. So I am now 47. I don't have children which I continiously grieve over. I don't have anyone special either. But I have my dogs and a few varied hobbies. I'm not totally content but I am happy. Thank you for writing about being childless.
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