I'm in the process of writing a series of articles surrounding the topic of Sex and MS. It's easy to get the basics of various types of sexual dysfunction, but I'd like your help in collecting ideas for how to get past those problems.
What I'm looking for are suggestions or comments on sexuality and intimacy, relationship matters (and if you've participated in the NMSS program by this same name please contribute to the disucssion), and sex tips, toys, and tools which are helpful.
So I'm opening the floor to you. What do you have to say? Let's talk some sex.
Let's hear it for "tips, toys and tools"! (sorry, couldn't help myself)
ReplyDeleteHey Bubbie,
ReplyDeleteWhen I pitched this idea almost 2 months ago, my producer at HealthCentral got all "grandmother" on me. So she says. She was worried that "Sex Toys, Tips, and Tools in the Bedroom with MS" was too racy.
Ha! I said. Folks LOVE to talk about this stuff, especially the older you get, so I presume ;) hehe. Anyway I hope that we can get some discussion going and then the ensuing post will be classic.
My hope anyway.
It so happens that my wife got involved maybe a year ago in selling "sex toys." This was one of her many 'multi-level' schemes. In fact, she is still involved. Actually, I think you commented on a post of mine that mentioned the same.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, I didn't necessarily need any sex toys at the time, but got to experiment nonetheless (she needed to know how they work and what they are for, lol).
When I was first diagnosed with MS my groin had gone rather numb and so sensation was definitely diminished for a time. I got Viagra at that point, and though normal feeling has since returned, the Viagra can still be fun for a little "extra" stamina (although expensive).
I think that most of the toys out there are most specifically designed for women, which is convenient in the case of MS, since the better part of ppl with MS are women.
I think it is a great idea to talk about this in a series of articles, because lets face it, it is a real concern and a real subject of interest. So you go, girl.
30 years of oops, we can't marry, ok, elicit sex, I must emphasize the entire experiene changes as MS progresses, if you have a foundation of love, your relationship will not crumble, it will stay as solid as that first hot, sweaty night when you were 22.
ReplyDeleteSo? Focus on love. Experiment with different ways to be physical. Don't box yourself in, define sex on you own terms. And don't be afraid to learn more about ways to satisfy your partner. I have learned a LOT in the past 3 years. (Some old lady...late night TV...can't remember her name...) And NEVER underestimate the spititual aspect of love and intimacy.
Diane, thank you so much for putting it into words - "Focus on Love" - that's it right there. :)
ReplyDeleteBTW, old lady on TV....Dr. Ruth. I learned a lot watching her, too.
I think this is an interesting topic since during my flare last summer I completely lost sensation and could not climax. I actually read on some MS Website to hold Frozen Peas on the affected area for a few minutes and then it will actually help with returning some sensation. It worked. So I am a fan of the frozen peas - we always have some in the freezer!
ReplyDeleteI hope that wasn't TMI - however, I don't think MS and Sex is a largely talked about topic.
Sex toys are always a great way to spice up the bedroom.
ReplyDeletecheck out sensualdirect
http://www.sensualdirect.com
No...not Dr Ruth...I'll find out.
ReplyDeleteSUE JOHANSON, I guess she is only on line now...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.tv.com/talk-sex-with-sue-johanson/show/21613/summary.html
Great tips and she anwers ALLL kinds of questions.
Diane, You are correct!!! I just went with the first name which came to mind, but Sue Johanson is the one I watched late at night. Silly me. I look at her face and think, that's right, the lady who wasn't afraid of talking about ANYTHING.
ReplyDeleteGee, I don't even know where to start. My sex life isn't exactly terrific but that's because I have a husband who isn't that "adventurous". Sigh...
ReplyDeleteI would love to tell everybody all about my sex life but I don't have one. MS hit me hard and at the wrong time. I will say that trying to date when you are disabled is hard.
ReplyDelete